I grew up with a family of hunters, so when my friend showed me his bowling trophy once, I was like “omg, you shoot little bowling people?”
I bet animals don’t like trophy’s, because their heads are trophy’s.
Puff the magic dragon is redundant. Quite frankly, it sounds like something a pothead would make up. All dragons are magic. It should just be puff the dragon. It’s not like anybody’s gonna get him confused with puff the actual dragon.
I bet octopuses are pissed off because ink-jet printers stole their idea.
Should I feel bad that I always use the handicapped stall? To punch wheelchairs in?
I grew up in a kind of shitty neighborhood. The playground for us, was just a patch of ground that we were allowed to “play” on. “kids, go stand on the “play ground.” Swinging was when we took turns hitting each other with a bat, and our teeter-totter was when we ate tator tots, and pretended we were drunk like mommy.
When poor college students pray to the god of salty noodles, they say “ramen”
I don’t like to say good night, because I feel like I’m being patronizing to a medieval warrior. Good knight. You’re such a good knight. And I just don’t want the queen to chop my head off.