Let’s play cribbage with a patch of kids.

The difference between a scream and a yell is that yelling is just being louder, and screaming is for when something is scary. You can’t scream and not be scared. That’s why when people sing the I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream song, I imagine everybody being attacked by a giant ice cream cone with the face of Courtney Cox.

When I was a kid I often mixed science and religion. I thought boys were made out of atoms, and girls were made out of Eves.

Do little kid robots like to play robo-cops and robo-robbers? Or should they just get back to work and stop frightening, the real children.

Hypothetically if I invented a frisbeard, would it be cooler if it were a beard made out of a Frisbee? Or a Frisbee made out of a beard? Should I just do both? Because hypothetically, I just don’t know what to do with this entire extra beard.

I have the sticks sense. I can tell if something is a stick or not. Sometimes it’s not a stick, and it wasn’t a stick the whole time.

I was watching a TV special on basketball, and the loud talking narrator guy mentioned that one of the teams was a “dream team.” But if your dream is a bunch of tall dudes who dribble, then you have some pretty lame dreams. Where are the saber-toothed zebra’s, and the giant bars of soap? Where are the truck drivers with fanny packs for hands? Does ANYBODY have the ability to fly, or at least fly-fish? If not, then your dream team is laaaaame.

The French revolution, not about mustard you’re thinking of the French’s revolution… Also, the dance dance revolution, not about asians.  

I like being recognized, but I don’t like people who are like “you better recognize!” because they’re usually black.

I feel bad for people who are retarded. I mean it’s bad enough that they already were tarded, and then they have to be REtarded, all over again. It’s just not fair.

Whenever I hear people talk about not being a cat person, I imagine that they’re talking about not being a cat-person. Like half cat, half person. And I pretend that they’re just really insecure and defensive about the lie they’ve been living.

Do catfish always land on their fins? 

Jun 13, 2010 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

Add Your Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Premium Wordpress Themes by UFO Themes