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I was on the new Facebook Live Gameshow called Popular opinion with my husband Alex and our friend and fellow comedian Pat Susmilch! Watch the episode and see if we win $10,000! (Spoiler alert, um we totally did.)
Click here to watch! And let me know what you think! :)
The show is amazingly silly and fun! You will love it!
I've always wanted to have a podcast but hadn't found a topic that really connected with me. All that has changed. Cohosted by Joleen Lunzer and produced by my husband Alex Stein, we bring you the Deal With It podcast.
Every week we discuss topics related to living with mental and physical health conditions. We want to break stigmas and spread awareness by being open, real and also funny.
I have a heart condition called Marfan Syndrome which comes with chronic pain and many physical ailments. Joleen has anxiety, depression, addiction and OCD. We're both standup comics that use comedy to heal and connect. We invite guests to discuss their conditions and share their experiences, stories and advice as well.
I would absolutely love it if you listened and subscribed! Any and all feedback is welcome and we are always looking for listener questions and comments. You can do all of this on our fancy dancy website here: http://dealwithitshow.com/
Thank you for listening and for supporting this new exciting adventure. It has been an emotional journey and I can't wait to see how this podcast evolves. I've learned so much already and the guests we've had have all been phenomenal. I'm constantly inspired by the strength and heart people dealing with emotional and physical illnesses have. There is so much pain in this world and so many stigmas surrounding illness. It doesn't have to be that way.
So thank you again! Love you all so much!
-Andy, Joleen and Alex
Deal With It!
I thought I saw a unicorn behind my house! But it was just a bag of garbage with the handles twisted up top.
Lesson: Sometimes our dreams are bags of garbage.
Me: Umm, It's sexist to order my meal for me.
Husband: Sweetie, we're at a drive thru.
For every cute photo of a cat wearing a hat, there are a hundred blurry photos of a cat not wanting to wear a hat.
I was a victim of PC police brutality. Someone gave me a weird look THEN they told me to check my privilege. THEN they checked my privilege. And it was all there. THEN they tweeted about it. Whoa. Intense.
My friend ruined the ending of the new Star Wars movie for me. I was so mad that I decided to get even. I bought him a Star Wars puzzle for Christmas, but I took a piece of the puzzle out. When he couldn't find the last puzzle piece I called him and smugly said "I hope I didn't ruin the ending."
Too many commercials now seem to end with a woman revealing that she's pregnant and her husband saying, "We're going to need a bigger van!" So, I wish every commercial ended with a woman surprising someone that she's pregnant. Like, ee're going to need lots of tacos. Because I'm pregnant! We're going to need a bigger microwave. Because I'm pregnant! (Are we going to microwave a baby?)
Person: I'm offended by your squirrel joke. I have ADD.
Me: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Person: About what?
Do you remember playing the game "Hertz donut?" It's when you run somebody over with a rental car. Then say, "Hertz. Donut."
I seriously thought Comey was what Trump called his hairbrush. So no, I wasn't surprised that he fired Comey. Comey was not doing a good job. Either was Brushy.
If you buy two apple computers is it called a pear?
Thank you for reading and for any and all feedback! Which jokes do you like? Which jokes do you not understand? Which ones do you LOVE!?
I'm raising money for my unicorn ebook! Join here and help me save a unicorn!
This week we have a very special edition of Unicorn Reviews. Because this past week the amazing UNICORN FRAPPUCCINO was unleashed onto the unsuspecting public!
The Unicorn Frappuccino was conceived several months ago when a millennial and a dolphin went rollerblading together. While blading down the sidewalk they came across a lemonade stand owned and operated by a rainbow. They served mango lemonade and only blue sour skittles, and cream. The rest is history.
Now, you shouldn’t judge a Unicorn Frappuccino by it’s cover. Because the cover is just a plastic dome shape and it’s rather quite generic. It has a nice sized hole in the top and fits onto cups, but honestly it doesn’t say much about the contents of the beverage. Instead, judge a Unicorn Frappuccino by it’s sparkle. And holy buckets does this drink sparkle.
I was instantly enticed by the swooshy swirls of blue, pink, light pink, dark pink, soft pink, neon pink, gay pink, straight pink, boy pink, girl pink, non gender conforming pink, pink panther pink, and pinky pink. It looked like what a unicorn’s brain would look like on crack. As the drink melted the blue began to takeover the pink in a sprawling, manifest destiny fashion. It was like watching paint dry, but like while you’re on crack.
I absolutely adored the poofy white cloud of whipped cream on top of the drink covered in a magical dusting of sugar. It looked like a soft mountain that I wanted to jump into. And we can’t forget about the horn. The skinny green horn burst free from the top of the cloud proudly and declared, I’m a unicorn, and my horn is also a straw! BAM!
I wish I could have a Unicorn Frappuccino every day. But they were only here from April 19th to the 23rd, and most Starbucks stores ran out before then.
Thankfully I got mine the first day at an airport Starbucks and I got to taste it while everyone around clapped and cheered and took my picture and asked, “How is it?”
And that’s where we are now. I’m sure you’re all wondering what it tasted like. And I have to be honest here. It was really good… But it just wasn’t sugary enough. It tasted kind of sweet, but not sweet enough. It’s like they’d never had a meal cooked by a unicorn before. It was close. Definitely close to seeming authentic, and to the untrained mouth it may have been indiscernible from the real thing, but I’ve been around the block a few times. It’s a block made out of rainbow legos and ego waffles, and that’s where all the unicorn’s live. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVED the mango and the blue sourness. It was like a dream wrapped in a dream with a dream on top, all getting sucked up into a straw. But there just wasn’t enough sugar.
I really hope Starbucks brings them back again, just like the McRib. Unicorns need more attention and awareness so anything that brings them to the spotlight is wonderful.
Starbucks Frappuccino, thank you for existing. xoxox 10 stars.
Thank you for reading and if you liked this review, you should preorder my new ebook “Finally, Unbiased Reviews of Unicorn Images.” You can preorder here.
For more unicorn reviews, visit my unicorn blog here!
July 18 – Fictional Roast of Arnold Schwarzenegger @Meltdown
July 28 – Casey Moran show, Simi Valley
Aug 3-6 – National Marfan Foundation Convention
Aug 10 – 8pm – Deal With It Show at the Comedy Central Stage
Aug 18 – Fort Hays State University-Hays, KS
Aug 19 – Punchline Punchout at the Hollywood Improv LAB
Aug 23 – Winthrop University – Rock Hill, SC
Aug 25 – University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Sep 1 – Embry Riddle Aeronautical University-Daytona Beach
Sep 7 – 8pm – Virgin Sacrifice at Westside Comedy Theater
Sep 9 – 6pm – Silver Lake Lounge
Sep 9 – 8 pm – Picture This at the Virgil
Sep 10 – 7pm – Jokers and Aces at Meltdown Comics
Sep 13 – 8:30 – Comedy Upstairs at the Glen Arden Club
Sep 16 – 7pm – Punchline Punchout at the Hollywood Improv LAB
Sep 21 – Ben Comedy Show
Sep 23 – 12pm – Brunch Bitches at Lyric Hyperion
Sep 28 – University of Nebraska – Kearney, NE
Oct 10 – 8pm – Put Your Hands Together at UCB Franklin
Nov 4 – NACA Northwest Conference
Feb 1 – University of Wisconsin, Oshkosh, WI
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